Thursday, March 31, 2011

Uninvited Guests on Between You and Me

by Steve Downing
           Historically, the classic bad uninvited guest is in most cases a relative. Either blood kin or in-law. The reason being: it’s often harder to say “No” to a rellie, though the “Yes” is rarely unanimous or unconditional. By the time “No” (or “Please leave”) becomes unanimous, the damage is done, and a lifetime of further family trouble is pretty much guaranteed.
            It’s the small stuff, isn’t it. Always the small stuff. The uninvited guest needs a 20-minute shower, then requires two towels, sometimes twice a day. The uninvited guest takes over your personal KAXE coffee mug, wanders outdoors with it, and drops it on the sidewalk. The uninvited guest eats and drinks too much, consistently, and is consistently elsewhere during kitchen clean-up. The uninvited guest, after eating and drinking too much, gets sick all over the heirloom night-table, and the hallway between bedroom and bathroom. Then has a myocardial infarction, in the bathroom. And dies. With the door locked. This does transcend small stuff, and it proves my point. You can forgive the uninvited guest for locking that door before he croaked in the bathroom. But shattering your KAXE coffee mug?
            You’re right there with me on this, aren’t you?

Tune in to our weekly conversation - this week on uninvited guests on Between You and Me - Saturday from 10-noon with Heidi Holtan.

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