Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Secret Talents of The Bauer

by Heidi Holtan

John Bauer is known for many things. Feeding neighborhood dogs on his way home. Getting people on the horn lickety-split. Mispronouncing "cereal" again. And again. Seeing UFOs. Opening up fire hydrants because "I own this town".... the list goes on and on.

What most people don't know is that John Bauer is the inventor of a highly technical figure skating move called THE BAUER.

John Bauer has been a secret figure skater all his life. When other young boys were practicing their free throws on the weekends, John Bauer was on the ice, whirling and whirling with all his might.

So what exactly is THE BAUER? According to a reputable source (about.com) a Bauer is a beautiful figure skating move. The skater skates with the blades parallel and the toes pointing in opposite directions. The trailing leg is on an inside edge and is straight. The leading leg is bent and is either on an inside or outside edge, or flat. Some skaters bend almost completely backward when they do this move.

So why did John Bauer not go on to fulfill his figure skating dreams? He won't say, but I have a feeling there's a story there. When I asked him, he raised his hand over his face and shouted "no comment!"

What secret talents do you have? You don't have to bend over backward to become a member of KAXE... it's easy to do, just call us at 800-662-5799.

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